I battle with my internal nagging, fearmongering voice that tries to break down my resilience, especially when it’s screaming:
“She’s going to die!”
“She can’t survive in a cabin for four weeks, it’s not possible…”
“Why did she take that cruise job?”
“Why did I let her go?”
“I’m a terrible mother!”
What’s true of all the above statements is that they do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO HELP ME in these challenging times. If anything, they try their damndest to make me suffer – big time!
So, I hold on to my steady reflective, practical head. First, I think and repeat…
My daughter is SAFE. She is being looked after.
She gets three meals a day.
She receives water.
She has a balcony, on which she can sit in the sun and get fresh air.
There is a hospital on the boat.
People are being taken care of.
There are no deaths.
The boat sailed to Barbados and someone was helicoptered off to hospital because they were ill.
She is NOT ILL. She’s in the green zone and not coming into contact with anyone thought to be infected.
The boat management check on her twice a day, showing how they look after their staff.
She has Wi-Fi and speaks on the phone and via Whatsapp.
She listens to music.
She regularly posts to Instagram and her 3,000 followers!
She is being positive and acknowledging what an unusual situation she is in.
She is in contact with lots of friends and family.
She sees the most beautiful sunsets… She is fine.
Then, I reflect and take action. My husband and I contacted the UK Foreign Office and the cruise management company to reassure ourselves of their stance and the action they intend to take on our daughter’s behalf. We HAVE NOT catastrophized the situation and made it worse for ourselves or our daughter.
In doing so I have kept the unfounded fears, the nagging voice in check and continuously remind myself of Professor Jo Clarke’s short blog ‘Then Don’t Worry’, because worry would be no help to me right now.
By contacting the cruise company we receive daily updates and this is incredibly reassuring. We also know, at some point in the future, maybe in a week or two, or even longer, she will be home. The company are already chartering flights to repatriate the staff. We will see her soon.
It feels great to keep calm the unfounded fear; the nagging voice at bay and we’re both eagerly looking forward to being reunited and finally laying those unfounded fears to rest.
Maxine Daniels is a registered Senior Trainer and Psychotherapist
Discover more about Dr Maxine Daniels on Petros People page.
